So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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