hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
