Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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