he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
