hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
