I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
