I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
