Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
