If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
