okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
