If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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