well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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