bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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