I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
