nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
