Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize