redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
