Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
