i barfeds in our rink
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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