Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
