I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize