Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
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I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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