You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
