um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
