Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This girl is more easily done than said...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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