do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
