Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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