I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
