she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My ass is underappreciated
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
