Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Its about making memories worth repressing
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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