it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
