If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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