Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
