you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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