You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
