I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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