Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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