you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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