you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
