I wish I could punch you in the face.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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