ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
