As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Boobs are out for the taking
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
