what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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