Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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