and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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