Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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