never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
