I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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