they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
