remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm at about main and main street
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
