32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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