Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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