I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
