Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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