Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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