party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
